@adamhess1: I will never tire of sending random messages like this to random numbers

@ClichedOut: [first date] HER: i'm super close to my dad ME: *trying to impress* you're grounded

@AristotlesNZ: Those of you wondering what its like to be married: Just found out this morning I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having...

@daimonic0: If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too.

@StarWarsProblms: Qui-gon: You will give me the parts Watto: I'm immune to mind tricks Qui: Are you immune to lightsabers? Watto: I will give you the parts