@KKAlThani: 1)Buy a plastic phone 2)Walk next to a stranger 3)Whisper into phone "It's done. He's dead." 4)Remove batteries & throw phone in a trash can
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@Mr_Kapowski: Me: So you collect pictures of guys with their height and weight? Sounds a lot like Grindr Friend: THEY'RE BASEBALL CARDS, JERK
@Phook75: I'm actually not sure if the Wife decorated the tree really well or she just created the best Lady Gaga outfit in history
@BBQJones28: For the record..when you get punched in the face..it doesn't make that movie sound...at all.
@iAmDelFreaky: Apparently, starting an impromptu game of leap frog with somebody bending over to tie their shoe is considered rude. Church is boring.