@rebeccaheckyea: 2 cats smoke catnip and lay around, discussing Plato's Allegory of the Cave. "What if the laser pointer is just a projection?"
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@stevemarriott: Mediocrites was not the greatest hero from Greek mythology, but nor was he the worst
@NotOnTheMoors: Which sadist decided to make the packaging around Band-Aids so difficult to open, considering you're usually bleeding when you need one?
@ewfeez: Hacked again! Sometimes I wish I never grew up on 12,345,678th Street with a dog named Password.
@blade_funner: Me: It's ok if they stay a little damp Automatic hand dryer: I SHALL DRIVE THE WATER FROM YOUR VERY BONES