@sensitivetim: 2 friends and I once pulled the 3 kids in a trenchcoat trick & killed a man got tried as an adult but when they hung mike, paul & I fell out
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@DurtMcHurtt: [first day as a pharmacist] CUSTOMER: the antacid I took isn't working. ME: *leans in close* that's cuz you're not an ant..
@ShortSleeveSuit: Friend: Can you give me a ride? Me: I'll give your MOM a ride! [Later] Me: So Mrs. Tromlhorn, anywhere else besides the dentist?
@KevinHart4real: I just saw a man get hit by a car...he got hit & fell down & then got up & chased the car down the block!!!! His legs must be strong as shit