@jake_lach: 2 hours into dieting] omg I'm so lightheaded
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@NoFucksWereGave: My teacher was pointing a ruler at me an said, "There's an idiot at the end of this ruler!" I got detention after asking which end.
@_NinJar: Me: Whats the best thing on the menu? Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*
@NicestHippo: I was on my way to commit a heinous act of religiously motivated violence but then I saw a Coexist bumper sticker
@Twtercide: If you want the truth, ask a child. If you want some bullshit, ask an adult. If you want to end up in jail, ask your friends on Twitter.