@jake_lach: 2 hours into dieting] omg I'm so lightheaded
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@BuckyIsotope: I would walk 500 miles And I would walk 500 more Just to be the man who Walked a thousand miles To throw up on your door
@brennadine: Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment.
@YoungManDadJoke: Your head is basically just the smartest part of your body wrapped in the spookiest part of your body.
@HpHubert: Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to kids. Old girlfriends tend to get offended. Who knew?