@Izzybcrazy: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
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@ToxicProbably: Jeez make one joke about putting cyanide in someone's food and suddenly they don't want you to cook for them anymore
@TitansHomer: My cousin: "i just closed a big deal today that is going to make me a ton of money!" Me: "some guy name Queef Nuggets RTed me"
@MrsTomServo: Guy cut me off & I shouted, "you are unable to pleasure your wife. OR HUSBAND." Cause he needs to know I'm angry, yet progressive.
@Sickayduh: [England 1320] "Dearest fair lady, thou art the finest in the land. Allow me to gaze upon thee soon. My love grows." *waits 6 months* "K"