@Jeff_Sargeant: 2 out of 3 isn't bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids. Then it's bad
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@AimeeHelene1: News said how hard it'd be to shoplift a turkey. Amateurs. It's all about commitment. *stuffs turkey under shirt* *whines that back hurts*
@Tommytoughstuff: THERAPIST: How does that make you feel? ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.
@torrami: So when two guys get super friendly it's bromantic, but what about two girls? Can we make homantic a thing? Or 'gina buddies or something?
@AdamBroud: [Truth or Dare] Her: What's your biggest secret? Salazar Slytherin: *sweating* No secrets here haha. Definitely not a chamber full of 'em