@schumoo: "20 McNuggets for $5? That's like a quarter a nugget!" I exclaimed, hoping that my dinner date would be impressed with my math skills.
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@WilliamRodgers: [Bruce Willis on his deathbed] Bruce: Viagra! Dr: Bruce this isn't the time- Bruce: Give me...a Viagra! Dr: Ok *Bruce Dies...Hard*
@BossyBritches72: Dog keeps sighing melodramatically. I know he wants me to ask him what's wrong, but I'm not falling for it.