@TomSchally: 200 Catholics, one cup. -Mass
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@TheCatWhisprer: Starting a diet is a lot like starting a lawn mower, you struggle and sweat and end up on the couch eating ice cream with your shirt off.
@TheAlexNevil: Parenting is a mix of having no idea what your child is talking about and hoping to god they don’t start explaining it.
@AndrewNadeau0: BEAR JESUS: *Emerges from cave after 3 days* EVERYONE ELSE: This… this is not as impressive.