@mllebeckyrose: 2014: lost 10 lbs, saved $135, ate $135 worth of candy, gained 10 lbs
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@okimstillhungry: Me: Whats wrong babe? Her: Nothing. Me:*Pauses DVD of Shrek 2 that Ive had on a loop since losing my job* No somethings wrong I can tell.
@jackiembouvier: Put a kid in a lake or a river and they never want to come out. Turn on a shower and it's like you're blasting them with nuclear waste.
@transaParent: I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple.
@Nikkeya08: Cashier: Your total is $2,334.00. Me: Can you take off the avocado? Cashier: Okay, that will be $2.00.