@riley_fox: 2/14/16 — The Day I Got Owned Online By 1-800-Flowers
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@squirrel74wkgn: Me: *making a snow angel* Bartender: ...ok, he's cut off. Get him off the dance floor
@trevso_electric: If your Facebook picture is a photo of a sunset or something inanimate, I'll assume you have a dissociative identity disorder.
@WheelTod: Top prank: when your friend falls asleep, place his hand in a bowl of warm water so he wakes up with one regular hand & one wrinkly one.