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@riley_fox: 2/14/16 — The Day I Got Owned Online By 1-800-Flowers
@robfee: Cons of being on The Walking Dead: Almost everyone you know is dead & the world is a desolate zombie wasteland
Pros: No more Adobe updates!
@juliussharpe: I think Yahoo! news is written by someone who's had significant head trauma.
@robyn_vo: I wanted to have sex with Uma Thurman until I saw her toes in Kill Bill.
@BlindChow: INTERVIEWER: it says here on your resume that you're good at small talk?
INTERVIEWER: holy shit
@TheRobCee: Got kicked off the cruise ship after three day of constantly saying "poop deck" & snickering.