@patrickhogan91: 22 y.o. male seeks woman who will kill spiders for him. Will do sex if required, but mostly please kill spiders
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@ArfMeasures: DATE: In my room when I was younger [smiles] I used to sing with a hairbrush ME [spits out drink] I never even knew hairbrushes could sing
@elle91: I wish I had the confidence of my mom explaining Instagram to her friend 5 minutes after I told her what Instagram was.
@KeetPotato: [music club] what should we play today [hand goes up] yes joe? "banjo" all those who wanna ban joe raise their hand [everyones hand goes up]