@brianbowman73: 25 more pounds to lose and I'll be ready to be seen at my gym.
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@WakeVII: Parents: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Parents: Mom and dad. Me: Mom and dad who? Parents: Exactly, you're adopted son. ;'(
@shkeeber: Me: *looking at pics* Cute! What breed is it? Looks like a Puggle Co-worker: It's my daughter Me: Yeah, they feel like family, don't they?
@Kyle_Lippert: Her: What are your desires? Me: My desires are..[imagines having a talking Pug named Maurice that I watch Netflix with]...Unconventional.