@BestScienceJoke: 2night's funniest bit: a fellow comic enters the room &, given a choice between talking w/ me & w/ a homeless man, chooses the homeless man.
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@NotMarkAllen: I feel like a taco salad is the worst way to eat a taco, and yet, the best way to eat a salad.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The sign at this gas station says "turn engine off" so I catcalled my engine and its cute friend from across the street.
@bingowings14: Someone claimed that their dog could retrieve a ball from up to a mile away, sounds a bit far fetched to me.