@slimmy_shady: 3 am phone call, "Hey, are you asleep?" Nope, Im skydiving.
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@IwanWil: I'm getting really good at this parenting thing. I just secretly ate 3 oreos while my kids were in the same room.
@faizziy: My friend is mad at me because I saw her using a huge tablet to make a call so I offered her a gas cylinder to light her cigarette..
@ibid78: Don't even talk to me unless you're an actual cup of coffee. In which case I'd listen to your story as I slowly sip the life from you.
@zachreinert03: finally sold everything that reminded me of my ex. kinda nice, I got $20 for her clothes, $50 for her tv, and $100 for our kid