@FreddyAmazin: 3 horrible things in life: 1) Seeing your mom cry. 2) Seeing the love of your life fall in love with somebody else. 3) Slow Internet.
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@okay_andi: Make sure to make eye contact with the hottest person in the room as you stuff a burrito into your mouth
@hoeroins: someone just tweeted "do crabs think fish are flying" and i just know this is all i'll think about for the rest of the year