@FreddyAmazin: 3 horrible things in life: 1) Seeing your mom cry. 2) Seeing the love of your life fall in love with somebody else. 3) Slow Internet.
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@capricecrane: I bet that Heimlich was just a perv who molested people from behind, and one time accidentally saved someone from choking.
@salmarch79: ABC NEWS: Bees fly and make honey FOX: Islamic insects attacking Texas CNN: flying warbirds create liquid yellow weapons of mass destruction
@iwearaonesie: wife: Why was that guy yelling at you? [flashback to me ignoring the "one per customer" sign] me [with a mouthful of cheese samples] No idea