@lilgapeach30: 3 rules for having good teeth: brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice a year, and keep your nose out of other peoples business.
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@rickygervais: It seems to be true, particularly in middle America, that those most militant about using up fossil fuels, don't actually believe in fossils
@jngraphs: My daughter just came into the kitchen to finish getting ready to go out. So now I'm making a cheese, bacon and hairspray omelette.
@Ideal_Victoria: Me: I don’t care how cute you are, I will tear you to shreds if you don’t start cooperating. Wrapping paper: *rips*