@lilgapeach30: 3 rules for having good teeth: brush and floss twice a day, see your dentist twice a year, and keep your nose out of other peoples business.
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@Meh_Tweetz: bought 30 treadmills & placed them around the perimeter of house, when zombies attack my house they will just keep walking for days
@1Happytwit: You should never bribe someone to get what you want. You should blackmail them, it's cheaper and much more effective.
@samiam604: *on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*