@SondraDeeMe: 3 years ago I trained 6 days a week & ran a 5K. Now I run my mouth 6 days a week telling the pizza delivery guy how I ran a 5K 3 years ago.
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@Br00klyn_BeAr: Do girls imagine themselves sucking in a invisible spaghetti when they're about to take a picture?
@robfee: Mitt Romney announcing he’s not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won’t be a sequel to Mortdecai.
@Sassafrantz: My whole life has felt like one big hammock and everybody is watching me try to get out of it.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: 'Here Comes Honey Boo Boo' is the reason I always donate money to Planned Parenthood.