@SondraDeeMe: 3 years ago I trained 6 days a week & ran a 5K. Now I run my mouth 6 days a week telling the pizza delivery guy how I ran a 5K 3 years ago.
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@Sarcasticsapien: Make your day more fun by going up to a stranger and asking "Hey, how have you been since the amnesia?"
@ISOremarkable: "on your left u see fred in camo, on your right is bertha, she has ridden many miles on that electric cart." If walmart had tour guides.
@tehaveragejoel: "every family has that one huge weirdo" "NOT MY FAMILY!" I shout as I quickly exit the room, my six ducks on leashes in hot pursuit.
@SoulYodeler: Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE