@SondraDeeMe: 3 years ago I trained 6 days a week & ran a 5K. Now I run my mouth 6 days a week telling the pizza delivery guy how I ran a 5K 3 years ago.
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@SocialustGal13: My brother didnt take kindly to jail. He refused food & drink, and smeared feces on the walls. That's the last time we're playing Monopoly.
@Fred_Delicious: [2 detectives are at a murder scene] "my god Wilkins. Are you thinking what im thinking?" ... "a lasagne driving a car?" "Exactly"
@empressofsong: I am open to suggestions, comments, or glowing praise followed by many exclamation points.