@TheTweetOfGod: 30 And to his followers he said, "Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."
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@QwertyJones3: [interview for an accounting job] Your resumé says your greatest strength is using idioms. How can that help in this job? "You do the math"
@Dawn_M_: Sorry I looked completely surprised that your baby didn't burst into flames when I chanted The Power Of Christ Compels You.
@MarlonBrandNO: Blind Date: SWEET JESUS I DONT HAVE ANY EYES Me: Of course you don't, you're a date Blind Date: WHAT Me: Kind of like a big raisin