@Miz_Mental_Case: 30 is the new 20 until you hang out with 20 yr olds.
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@Steven37366100: Wife: I think the washer went out Me: What time will it be back? Wife: Please get my suitcase
@Dutch_50: My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!
@WheelTod: My family's dull. All through his teens my brother had his head buried in a book before dad exhumed it & reattached to the rest of his body.
@E_lok44: Pro tip: If you really want to make an impact, always have a mouth full of saliva before you "shhh" someone.