@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion
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@meganamram: Ten out of one women is a Russian Nesting Doll
@qwertying: I hate people who say 'Age is just a number' — Age is clearly a word.
@Rachrinc: I hate when I wake up in the middle of the night to get a quick drink of water and then accidentally eat a whole pizza and a cheesecake
@MomOfTeen: My reactions 1st child's problems: I WILL fix this!! 2nd child's problems: Let me know if you need help. 3rd child's problems: Good luck.
@SteveSuckington: If you tell me I can only have sex with your sister over your dead body, your funeral is going to be awkward for some of your family.
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