@ppppolls: 30% of Republican primary voters nationally say they support bombing Agrabah. Agrabah is the country from Aladdin. #NotTheOnion
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@XplodingUnicorn: The heaviest things in the world: 4) iron 3) lead 2) tungsten 1) a toddler who doesn’t want to be picked up
@mattgallo123: The only thing more shocking than finding water on planet Mars would be finding me in Planet Fitness.
@LetMeStart: Me: I couldn't eat another thing. Narrator: Oh, she ate another thing. And then some.