@ohthatbadger: 30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing.
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@WstonesOxfordSt: BOOK FACT: If you took every book in our store and laid them end to end you would be thrown out by security and banned from returning.
@OBiiieeee: If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.
@towelforacape: People always say I make things sound sexual but I try not to pry them open and force my thick throbbing opinion down inside them.
@DudeImShawn: Math problem: Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? A: Diabetes. John has diabetes.