@ohthatbadger: 30% of Satan's workday is responding to accidental summonings caused by predictive typing.
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@inmynewskin: Teacher: you can be anything you want Me: Beyonce Her: well, not that (we stare at each other blankly for 17 min...) Me: Hi I'm Beyonce
@SonOfCha: Not only are all my tweets stolen, but so are all my thoughts. And everything I say. And my identity. And this baby.
@PeachCoffin: *admires David at the museum* I can't believe a teenage mutant ninja turtle sculpted this