@lisaxy424: 30 seconds staring confused at the calculator app before realizing why my phone wasn't calling the number I dialed.
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@forcemajeure40: She said she was a free spirit. That's good. Wasn't sure how I'd pay for a spirit.
@Jake_Vig: Guys, if a girl invites you upstairs for "coffee," first make sure she has coffee, you don't want to get up there and there's no coffee.
@ericsshadow: My 9 year old ran away for an hour and by the time he came back my wife had already turned his bedroom into a yoga studio.
@Fred_Delicious: Date - "I really dig intellectuals" Me - "oh yeah? well check this out babe" [counts to 17]