@shutupmikeginn: 346 character anecdote
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@BakedBrotatoes: [Judas standing alone waiting to be picked for dodgeball] -Come on it was one time guys *Jesus drags the CPR dummy to his side of the gym*
@_ElvishPresley_: WATSON: It appears the victim died upon entering the bathroom HOLMES: And how did you deduce he wasn't leaving? WATSON: No shit, Sherlock.
@SuperApple80: Him: Why do you like to feed ducks so much? Me: (flashback to my dream when I only got into Heaven because God was a duck) It calms me.