@shutupmikeginn: 346 character anecdote
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@HiddleDeeDee: People who say a child's laughter is the best sound in the world have clearly never heard my dog eat a crouton.
@CruisinSoozan: I don't want to alarm anyone but I've purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there'll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11. NO WEIRDOS
@ldgadamn: “if your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too?” first of all, i’d jump off a cliff without my friends
@TheTweetOfGod: "I want my country back" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country.