@shutupmikeginn: 346 character anecdote
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@NoogsCorner: Were those thousands of turtle lives worth the life of one stupid, spoiled Princess with a strange fetish for Italian plumbers?
@lawblob: Waldo books are cute until u learn he owes $100,000 in unpaid child support & is wanted for arson
@carlawh: When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background.
@PanicRestroom: It's like grandma always said... In a car with a sunroof, you have more room for your legs