@AristotlesNZ: 3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I'm totally using that at work tomorrow.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@randomnloveit: If they could bottle how good it feels to take off your bra, that would sell for more than any expensive wine.
@KevinFrisbee: "Nope. Nope. Yeah right. Nope. Close! Nah. Nope. Almost! Hahaha, you're terrible at this." - piece of popcorn stuck between teeth.
@Kalarlis: holy crap a guy actually gave me his number and i didn't know what to do so i panicked and sent him a picture of a dead bird?
@iGreenMonk: "Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me - I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?" "Not really - I spill most of it!"