@AristotlesNZ: 3yo just yelled "face-five!" & slapped his brother in the face. I'm totally using that at work tomorrow.
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@3sunzzz: *shows up at your potluck party with a bag full of weed* "I think I misunderstood the invitation."
@PinkCamoTO: CW: You're not wearing a costume. M: Yes I am. CW: You're dressed as yourself? M: No. I'm a serial killer. We look just like everyone else.
@shiksaaa: My boyfriend said he had a Catwoman fantasy. I must have misunderstood because we both wore leather cat suits to bed last night. Awkward.
@praisecheese: "Archeology is just like search and rescue only everyone's been dead for 5,000 years, so there's no rush"