@seandunn76: 4 in 3 people have syphilis. Look to your left. Look to your right. One of you has syphilis twice.
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@donni: Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.
@SCbchbum: I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see.
@heidi420x: You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..