@ashleyaustrew: 4: "Mom, I'm gonna be just like you when I grow up and say bad words and eat French fries two at a time."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JimmerThatisAll: I just found out that blackbirds aren't afraid of squirrels and now I'm afraid of blackbirds.
@GrowlyGrego: FIRED? But I just started! How could I have known we don't do casual Fridays here? Fine. Direct your own goddamn funeral. *flip-flops away*
@TheDeadfishSays: "I don't want to make a spectacle..." Eye glass manufacturers last day on the job.