@GroovyCheese: 4 words. 5 syllables. Easy to say. Hard to prove. ''I am a zebra.''
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@UncleBob56: Wife: What's your fantasy? Me: It involves your mom. W: Your disgusting! M: W: What is it? M: I always wished she'd taught you how to cook.
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me about yourself" *flashback to when I used hand towels mom said are specifically for guests* I'm a risk taker
@david8hughes: [first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus
@WheelTod: I can't afford an electric toothbrush, so I just roll a baby hedgehog in some toothpaste and hold in it my mouth for 15 minutes.