@GroovyCheese: 4 words. 5 syllables. Easy to say. Hard to prove. ''I am a zebra.''
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@AGStr8upNinja: Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?
@JustASmirk: My wife is the most beautiful, intelligent person standing right behind me reading my Twitter feed.
@Jeff_G_Nixon: [barber shop] BARBER: what can we do for you today? MEDUSA: well.. [removes hat] BARBER: MEDUSA: BARBER: so do you want more or less snakes?
@WheelTod: A zendetta is when you launch a blood feud against a killer who murdered your entire family, but remain pretty chill about the whole thing.