@YeahDrewisOn: I've learned there are two types of people in this world:
People I trust to help me bury bodies...
...and bodies
@wtfhuman: Is it 5 seconds from when it hits the floor or when I see it?
I just noticed a skittle under my desk. I don't remember eating skittles.
@gringothespice: Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving.
@Home_Halfway: People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I'm not expecting them to be practical
@jenyb4: Cw: you have a call holding
M: put it in my voicemail
Cw: he has a sexy Australian accent
M: hiiii this is Jennifer
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