@lazerdoov: 40% of North American teens can't even find ISIS on a map. Talk about ignorant
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@shopkins776: Do you wish you were always broke? Are you tired of having a thriving social life? Is too much sleep boring you? Parenthood. It's for you
@ShutUpThatsWho: [doctor's office] ME: I'm here for my test results [the vulture perched above his desk shuffles impatiently] DR: I have some bad news...
@JayTuvz: I used to play the triangle in a reggae band but left because it was just one ting after another.