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@T_Bonezzz_: 5: Daddy, where do fish come from?
@slimmy_shady: Sandwich: Hi. Barman: Sorry, we dont serve food in here.
@batkaren: [finding a secret passage in my NYC-apartment that leads to a corpse-filled torture dungeon]
HOLY SHIT LOOK AT ALL THIS EXTRA SPACE I HAVE!
@AGStr8upNinja: I don't play mario kart with my brother anymore.
Because we are both in our 20's & my mom is not there to split us up when we fight.
@pleatedjeans: Wife: did you know there's an "I hate Jeff" group that meets in the park?
Me: yes I started it I am the president
@Shelts99: All women want to be swept off their feet, until you push them into the sea.
Dating is hard!