@SaraESpivey: 5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette.
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@Duke1173: They ordered two extra large pizzas at work. I wonder what everyone else is going to eat.
@Ristolable: My friend and I were talking about food and he said "I'm not a big Chinese guy" and I was like "I know you're not"
@SondraDeeMe: [babysitting] *calls Mom of kid* How long does your baby stay in the rain before it's clean?
@BrendanHealy4: Wife texts husband 'Windows frozen', husband texts wife 'try bucket of warm water', wife texts husband 'computer not working at all now'