@ruslg1: 50 shades of grey = my Liver
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@Rollinintheseat: [blind date] Him: "I'm a big Beethoven fan." ME *trying to impress him* "Saint Bernards are my favorite dog breed."
@isabelzawtun: Pigeons are the dandelions of the animal kingdom: unappreciated, plentiful, and when you give a bouquet of them to ur mom she won't like it
@purplefuzzygirl: Men love when you kiss their neck.. Just not when they're driving And you're in the backseat. And they don't know you. Apparently.