@MattRundle: '50 Shades of Grey' taught me how to please a woman. It's by writing a shitty book.
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@Muath_tu: I hate when I'm running away from monsters at the temple then crash into a tree and die because I wanted to collect all the gold.
@Real_Dick_Head: *gets first nose bleed since childhood* Apparently our periods have synced, can I have some Midol and a tampon?
@BigHeb7: Whenever I'm about to get in a bar fight, I give a karate bow to my opponent in hopes he gets scared and backs out before I piss myself.