@SpongeBobMovie: 50 Shades of Yellow. #SpongebobMovie #SuperBowl
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@Vodkantots: When someone asks if you lost weight, the correct response is always, "no, it just seems like it to you because you got fatter."
@Scimommy: 90% of parenting older kids is making sure they're not in the same room when they have to do homework.
@Thrill_Tweeter: Twitter - to help future generations discover if there's ever been any mental illness in the family.