@68Cly29: 50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds
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@jctwritesstuff: [Command Center] *opens map* *traces route* *marks intercept point* *drives* *waits* *target arrives *tackles* Liquor Delivery Guy: Again?
@kavoinooi: I hate when my cat brings in a dead bird and I have to pretend I enjoy eating it so I don't hurt his feelings
@Liber_what: Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too
@LoveNLunchmeat: Just signed up for free HBO, but the terms and conditions were so steep I think I also agreed to carry Steve Buscemi's baby.