@68Cly29: 50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds
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@verycozy: ME: I have crab like reflexes DAD:I think you mean cat like reflexes ME: [sitting in pot of boiling water] what
@kuuuuuu: *When I see someone else jaywalk* "What an idiot." *When I jaywalk* "I am a trained professional. Do not attempt this yourself."
@slimmy_shady: Therapist: When you look in the mirror, what do you see?Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree