@68Cly29: 50 shades - only romantic because the guy is a billionaire. If he lived in a trailer, it would be another episode of criminal minds
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@havingafatday: So what if I used a time machine to kill Hitler but arrived too late? And now he's alive and knows how to time travel? Would you guys be mad
@cortronic: *looks up "how to disarm a bomb in 10 seconds" on YouTube* *ad starts playing* *looks up "how to disarm a bomb in 5 seconds"*
@david8hughes: [first day as a soldier] Army guy: we deploy at 04:00hrs Me: where we going? Army guy: to war, soldier Me [setting alarm for 10am]: enjoy
@jiggynye: My daughter refuses to play with her Ouija Board anymore because every time we play, it spells out CLEAN YOUR ROOM.