@LoveNLunchmeat: 50 years ago, nerds were smart. Now a nerd is just someone who likes Star Wars and eats a lot of cereal.
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@bulls_horns: 25% of twitter users are on medication for mental illness, which means 75% are running around untreated.
@GloriaFallon123: My 7-year-old daughter asked me twice today "what poison would kill someone the fastest?" and now I'm wondering if I've underestimated her.