@hipstermermaid: "500 Days of Summer" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@KalvinMacleod: ME: my wife eats all the caramel corn and leaves the cheese JUDGE: give this man full custody of the kids ME: no wait they do the same thing
@Real_Dick_Head: *gets first nose bleed since childhood* Apparently our periods have synced, can I have some Midol and a tampon?
@markleggett: A celebrity died? Better take this opportunity to tell everyone a very personal story about that one time you saw them eating falafel.
@GloriaFallon123: When someone says we can do something “weather permitting” I remind them that weather’s not the boss of me. Snow or no snow, I'm not going.