@hipstermermaid: "500 Days of Summer" was pretty good for a movie I was expecting to be about global warming.
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@iwearaonesie: Hell hath no fury like a toddler who didn’t really want you to take a bite of the cookie he offered you
@BobTheSuit: 911: Your emergency? -Karen asked me a question. 911: Not an emergency. -She asked if I could be more pacific. 911: Cars are on their way.
@badbanana: Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I'm looking for the thumbs-down button.
@kivtur: [How the rap feud started] Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party? 2pac: sure, no biggie Biggie[eavesdropping]: [wipes tears]