@TFLN: (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
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@HockeyTornado: Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
@Ygrene: Me: [talking out loud while I write in my diary] today was ok, I just wish I could have eaten more breadsticks Waiter: *sighs* sir would you like more breadsticks
@jakob_huber: A bottle washes on shore with a note inside it: "Go swimming, the water's great! And there's no sharks! P.S. this wasn't written by a shark"
@Mouthy_: Three people I never mess with:n1- PMSing women.n2- Truck drivers.n3- PMSing truck drivers.