@TFLN: (513): They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
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@djdarrellripley: Me: I'm going across the street to get a beer. Priest: You can't bring a beer in here. This is a church. Me: I can if it's in my stomach.
@lloydrang: If you think the world is getting more unsafe, violent and unpredictable, the 13th century would like a word with you.
@BlindChow: DOG COP: sir, you ran a gray light DOG DRIVER: it was gray! COP: no, it was gray! DRIVER: gray! COP: *starts barking* DRIVER: *barking*