@Shock_Monster: 54% of IKEA purchases end in divorce.
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@dollfaceiam: When faced with a challenging situation I calmly ask myself "what would the hulk do?" Then I rip my clothes and smash stuff up!
@PaperWash: Alien: We've returned, show us what you built with our technology Egyptians: ... Aliens: ... Egyptians: ok don't be mad
@stephenjmolloy: *6 hours of Russian roulette* Me: "I think I forgot to load a bullet in this gun."
@Midgetspar: Cool Ranch Doritos are just like regular ranch Doritos except every chip wears a little pair of aviators.