@KentWGraham: 59 days until Christmas. I better start untangling the lights.
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@iSamJack: Anyone who says their wedding day was the best day of their life, has never had two candy bars fall down at once from a vending machine.
@ericsshadow: What kind of deranged lunatic gets home from a long night at the bar and eats a piece of fruit?
@RobDenBleyker: If you commit a crime be sure to wear running clothes, so if you need to flee the scene cops will just think "Look at that healthy jogger"