@KentWGraham: 59 days until Christmas. I better start untangling the lights.
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@BeardSpice: *walks into convenience store* "Excuse me, do you sell beef jerky" No sorry we only carry beef friendly *beef sticks start complimenting me*
@Spotzwoj: "I don't want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it's your fault." ~ girls
@david8hughes: [first day as diving instructor] Guy [from the back]: what's the signal for a shark Me: sharks don't really give signals they just show up
@BellesJar: Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly.