@LurkAtHomeMom: 5's friend told him his mom makes play doh. Thanks Pinterest. I'm already expected to cook 3 meals a day, now I have to cook their toys too?
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@hell_doe: roses are red, violets are blue *arnold schwarzenegger voice* tell me who is your daddy and what does he do
@shutupmikeginn: "Oh, you're left handed?" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I'm just doing it for show
@WheelTod: My key takeaway from Ghostbusters was that once you're dead, your Miranda rights don't count for shit.