@mompsychologist: 5yo after licking my face: "Sorry. My mouth meant to kiss you but my brain told me to lick you."
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@yonewt: Listening to "Bad Company" by Bad Company from their album "Bad Company" how do they come up with this stuff
@realHamOnWry: I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'
@LackOfShame: Her: Let's just drop it. Me: Fine. Her: Me: Her: I just find it funny how... Me: *opens car door and shoulder rolls out into traffic*
@TheQuietPsycho: Meanwhile, in a parallel world...a banana slowly and seductively peels and eats a human, while locking eyes with another banana...