@mompsychologist: 5yo after licking my face: "Sorry. My mouth meant to kiss you but my brain told me to lick you."
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@Travon: So sad America ranks 25th in the world in math. But at least we're still in the top 10.
@BarryVonAwesome: I don't consider it a good night out if it doesn't end up as a super villain's origin story
@turtledumplin: Someone on my FB posted a snap that said "I'm boared" And I'm just like....... *don't comment *don't comment *don't comment *don't comment