@The_JRM: 5yo's pretending she's a tourist at a hotel. All good, but I draw the line when my services are criticized because the "toilet's too cold."
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@lisaxy424: *finally finds comfiest position in bed* bladder: so you're not going to believe this
@ArfMeasures: ME: *smashes bottle into a ship* MAN: Oh cool, what are you naming it? ME: I'm not *smashes another bottle* I just hate ships
@steveolivas: I went through and unfollowed everyone who is better looking than me. It took a lot longer than I thought it would.
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: Do not 'K' me again. Daughter: Que Me: In any language. Her: Si This is why I'm crazy.