@DadInUtah: 6 year old: Daddy, what if the plane goes down? Me: Don't worry, your mom is with us. She never goes down. 6 year old: What? Me: Want candy?
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@iwearaonesie: [dad accidentally steps on the dog] I'm sorry girl, I didn't see you. Are you ok? [dad accidentally steps on me] Why are you on the floor?!
@ArfMeasures: CUTE GIRL IN BAR: *walks up, points to my empty glass* Want another? ME: (OK don't blow this) Sure *she hands me her empty glass & leaves*
@robfee: I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.