@badbanana: 65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed.
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@miffedmim: As an introvert, having a special place in hell reserved just for me sounds rather nice.
@murrman5: [consoling widow] I was the one who put the kick me sign on your husband. I had no idea you owned a horse that can read
@TravLeBlanc: Mary and Joseph chose to have Jesus in a barn rather than spend Christmas with their families.
@BackrowSeats: Some people might find a grown man talking to himself strange, & it's probably the couple sitting next to me.