6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads. 7yo: why do you need to be a bird? my 7yo is ready for twitter.

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Home
Submit
Random
Feedback

@robin_991: 6yo: I wish I was a bird so I could poop on peoples heads.
7yo: why do you need to be a bird?

my 7yo is ready for twitter.

171 comments

COMMENTS

@eric10F: My friends cat just ran across his banjo and was immediately sued by Mumford and Sons.

@chuchugoogoo: "Read 'em and weep" I say as I lay down my hand: a collection of my grandparent's handwritten love letters from WWII.

690

@MUMSIEesq: [HOSPITAL] DOCTOR: "A-tisket a-tasket, you're gonna need a casket." WIFE: "What?" DR: "Your husband's knee surgery did not go well AT ALL."

@rolldiggity: The worst part about being a giraffe is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you're sinking into quicksand.

@YaBoyFrenchy:

102

Next → ← Previous

Or a random funny tweet →

Submit a tweet

There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny.
Submit a Tweet

Funny Tweeter

FunnyTweeter.com is a daily updated collection of funniest tweets from all over the world. We did not write these tweets, all credit goes to the original authors, follow them and encourage them to tweet more :)

Follow us on Twitter

We also retweet all the tweets we post on this site, might as well follow us on Twitter! Follow @funTweeters

Like us on Facebook

And what's more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed.

COMMENTS

YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE