@hpb777: 6yo wants to "have a conversation" with the class bully's parents. Either he's mature beyond his years or he's a mobster.
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@Reverend_Scott: How to end an interview: 1. Thank them for their time. 2. Shake their hand firmly. 3. Firmer. 4. Firmer yet. 5. BREAK HIS HAND YOU MUST WIN
@stephenjmolloy: [Job interview] "Can you explain this gap in your résumé?" Me: "I fell asleep on the space key."
@Thereeveryday: The 4 stage of life: 1. You believe in Santa Claus 2. You don't believe in Santa Claus 3. You are Santa Clause 4. You look like Santa Claus
@lizard_wizard77: “i cnat believe this!” he yells as his beard of bees turns on him. “i would expect this from the others but not u” he says to 1 specific bee