@hpb777: 6yo wants to "have a conversation" with the class bully's parents. Either he's mature beyond his years or he's a mobster.
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@BruceForce: t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t t i t ~ just dotting some i's and crossing some t's.
@onion_an: Me: My dog has gone missing Dog pound: What colour is it? Me: Brown Dog pound: Sex? Me [turns to wife]: Has the dog lost his virginity?
@robfee: If I owned a pet store Id put a different rat in the turtle cage every night just to see if any of the turtles knew karate the next morning.
@david8hughes: "I'm telling you, it's all or nothing," the exterminator explains to Noah, "I can't just leave 2 woodworm. It doesn't work like that."