@GrantTanaka: 7 is asleep, 8 is on his iPad, and 12 is all like "hey dad, why don't you remember our names"
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@JiminyKicksIt: Interviewer: "So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?" Me: "My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly."
@ieatanddrink: Just heard that distinct "baby fell out of the crib and into a pizza that was on the floor" sound
@ifuseekamynow: I want to follow you back, really, I do. But the hash tags. My god the hash tags.