@moose_chocolate: "7 minutes in heaven" but just me locked in the closet with this burrito.
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@WilliamAder: "Down" "Penetration" "Tight End" "Ball handling" Don't the networks have censors any more?
@SteveSuckington: I once walked in on my brother having sex with my girlfriend. Needless to say I deflated her and threw her in the trash. #awkwardbreakup
@WilliamAder: If your kid eats the chocolate bunny's feet first, "so it can't get away," that's your future serial killer right there.
@Ristolable: HI MOM. YOU'RE GONNA BE SO PROUD. I JUST WON AN ARGUMENT ON THE INTERNET. Sorry caps lock was still on from the argument. But I won.