@moose_chocolate: "7 minutes in heaven" but just me locked in the closet with this burrito.
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@abrosenthal: A study found that Buzzfeed is the least trusted news source in media. Serves them right for telling me I belong in Hufflepuff.
@3sunzzz: H: Did you remember to pick up the seal so the tub will stop leaking? M: *holding a baby seal* You should have been more specific.
@NikiWithIssues: I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception.