@moose_chocolate: "7 minutes in heaven" but just me locked in the closet with this burrito.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ActualHuman01: me: it kind of feels like you’re judging me right now judge: it’s called "sentencing"
@HatfieldAnne: Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod.
@TheHyyyype: [picking her up for a date] ME: you should know that i have a baby from another marriage HER: really? ME: yes, but the parents haven't realized it yet so we gotta hurry, get in
@MrsGoose69: Hubby: "Why don't you ever tell me when you have an orgasm?" Wife: "I don't want to bother you while you are at work."